What a Night! (PG - parental discretion suggested for scary elements)

Tonight I came home from a wonderful night at work. I always enjoy working when I get hours at my assisted living job. Nevertheless, I was excited to get home and relax. The noise I heard when I walked in the door, however, was anything BUT relaxing! It grated against my nerves and the closer I got to the noise, the more unnerving it became. I walked down the stairs to the cold, dark and scary basement...louder, louDER, and LOUDER! I'm plugging my ears, but the buzzing is so loud that I had to check to make sure that my hands were really up by my ears doing their job! Then I saw it - the red light shining through the darkness right at me! - deja vu! This happened about 2 years ago when Jenny and I were home by ourselves, and Pastor had come over and silenced the horrendous buzzer. So Pastor was kind enough to come over again and make it stop. This time, he showed me how it is done so I can fix it if it ever decides to get scary again. After he left I poured myself a bowl of cereal for supper, and settled into my favorite armchair, finally i can rela........x......wait, I see something moving out of the corner of my eye! I look over and there's a spider crawling up the wall!!! EWWW!! Well, since I'm home for awhile by myself before mom, the brave spider crusher, gets home, I realize I'm going to have to kill it myself before it has a chance to climb to the ceiling above me, drop down, bite me, and kill me! So, I put down my bowl of cereal, hoping this will go quickly so my apple jacks don't get soggy. I grabbed a kleenex (which I had handy since I've recently been slowly suffocating of a cold), and started closing in on it....then I jumped back....closed in.....and jumped back...closed in, and jumped back one more time (yes, 3 times is the charm!). I finally closed my eyes and grabbed for it - then freaked out and opened my eyes to see the spiders legs waving in the air while the rest of his body was safely clamped between my fingers (in the kleenex, of course)...i started running to the trash can - not realizing that as I was running my fingers continued to squeeze tighter and tighter until I felt a POP! A muffled sound of disgust escaped my mouth and shivers ran through my spine...several times...until I released my grasp and let him fall into the trash. After which I buried him a little...just to be safe. Big Deep Breath. Okay, back to my cereal, which was still crunchy. Good. I turned on the TV to see what was on and scary music was playing! A girl in a dark room was looking into a kitchen sink that was filling with water and then suddenly a hand came out of the drain and grabbed her hair! AGH! I turned off the TV and decided to read the back of the cereal box....HEY! I get a free barbie watch! Ok...I guess the apple jacks people don't expect 21 year olds to eat their cereal, because they only made the watch big enough to fit on a little girls' hands. Well, I'm off to my room, where I'm hoping for some relaxation...but am afraid after the course of events tonight, I may end up with a nightmare! Just remember this:

1. When you come home from work at night, wear earplugs, then hopefully any scary sounds won't be heard.

2. When you see a spider, don't try to kill it, just stick it under a glass until someone brave enough to kill it comes along.

3. Always stay away from kitchen sinks that are in the dark, you never know what might come popping up out of the drain. And if you HAVE to use the sink - wear your hair in a pony tail.

4. Don't buy a box of cereal based on the prize inside, you might be disappointed.

5. Think happy thoughts prior to going to bed in order to avoid nightmares.